mmmmm, donuts

there's something i should tell you up front if we're to have any sort of meaningful, honest and productive dialogue:

(ahem)
before this week, i never had read or seriously considered any theories, perspectives or studies of leadership whatsoever. really- not ever.

okay, so maybe it's not the end of the world, but this little fact of my leadership-theory-ignorance was the haunting theme of my weekend. picture me sitting around with the texts, stupefied, acting out in Homer Simpson-like forehead-smacks: "management and leadership are different? leadership is not an inherent trait? people are actually discussing this? arguing about this? d'oh!"

i refrained from being too hard on myself; after all, i was grateful to be submerged in the material now. it just frustrated me to think that i could have checked this stuff out sooner. questions i obsessed over: "in my organization, have i been anything like a leader up to this point? am i responsible for leadership problems there? imagine the sort of leader i'd be today if only..."

and then, drenched in sweat, i reached a better understanding (clarity for me, derived from a 4-mile run: picture Homer Simpson after tv, beer and donuts). three years of raw experience, without an academic framework, is much more valuable than i had first thought. my real-life experiences form the frame of reference i consult when alone with the texts; they are my personal case studies and an untapped well of material for me to examine in the months to come.

and that is my confession. that i at once felt scared by what i didn't know, and motivated by what i had discovered i did know. i'm hooked on the material thus far. and i'm pretty certain that i chose the right program of study. the end.

***
if my first blog entry was successful, it would have accurately depicted a student enthralled by new material; a student at first intimidated by what he did not know, and at last confident that the knowledge gap was perhaps not as large as he'd initially feared.
additional criteria to the success of this entry: not losing any of you in defending my right to "non-caps" (proper nouns exempt), as well as with my gratuitous Simpsons references, of which there will probably be more to come.